Writing for HS, AM (Scalice, '07)
Marvin Huang
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Worldview essay response
Posted by M Huang at 2007/07/08 12:10:02 PDT

First of all, I thought this was an excellent thought evoking essay. It raised a few questions: Why are people not being given what they need? Why do the wealthy people who seem to "own" the lives of the laborers, who with their "sweat, their blood, and their life which have produced the symbols of selfishness that are mansions and Hummers", not pay them and if they got any pay at all why so insufficient. So insufficient, that it would not be enough to feed a snail. These questions barely break the surface of all the problems this essay brings to our minds and consciences. Overall this essay was certainly convincing to me. Though I do not have any religious beliefs, I could understand well enough what you were trying to say. I agree with suffering and misery not being "the result of unfortunate circumstances", but caused by the tyrants and leaders of the world. Something that I do not agree with is when you talked about a sad twist of fate. I found that redundant ::hehe redundant:: because I believe you cannot change your fate. In my opinion, how can fate be twisted if it cannot be changed? Maybe a sad twist in life, but not fate.

Your statement about how in a truly free world, people should receive what they need and be given work according to their abilities is something like how I think a perfect society, call it a utopia if you like, should operate. Do people actually need expensive cars, clothes, mansions, "$100 a bottle champagne", "cosmetic surgery research", and pretty much things people who cannot afford such things want. Well maybe they earned it through hard work or maybe not, but that does not change the fact that extremely impoverished people in third-world countries or even in the same countries where those rich people live in do not get what they, not want, but need. Another question: Do the wealthy people feel any guilt or knock on their consciences at all or is their wealth some sort of barrier. I myself who is part of the middle-class, feel that cry for help or that prayer for a better life, yet with my situation, I cannot do much. So maybe wealth is a barrier and if that barrier is broken then the world may become a better place or living after all.

--Extra Credit--
$100 a bottle of champagne= $100 per bottle of champagne?
Not exactly a grammatical error, but do you believe fates can be altered for the better or worst? If you do then your statement about a sad twist of fate should be legitimate, but if not then does that really make sense? I don't believe in the idea that you can change your fate so I felt puzzled. Just a thought.

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Exercises
Posted by M Huang at 2007/07/05 11:55:05 PDT
Edited at 2007/07/05 21:10:47 PDT
Me, Myself and I

1) The deep clear water is freeze-your-feet-off cold, yet still enjoyable because of its invigorating feel.

2) river, olive tree, eyes, skyscraper, candy, notebook, fire, snow, room, institution

love, dreams, inspirations, smell, pain, anger, jubilation, feel, wrath, pride.

The river of dreams. The snow of love. A destructive fire of wrath. The candy of jubilation. An institution of inspirations. A olive tree of emotions.

3) When I was about 7 years old, my dad and I planted a lemon tree in our backyard. It started out small and I never thought it would grow because of my impatience. After school, I would go to my backyard to check on it. Nothing I tried would make it grow. Water, fresh fertilizer, Miracle-Grow and upturning soil did absolutely nothing. As the years went on, I eventually gave up.
For 2 years, I ignored it and never noticed it's rapid growth. I would go to the backyard sometimes, but would completely ignore it. It wasn't until recently that i noticed that it grew extremely tall.

Chocolate is a very versatile substance. It can used in candy, cake, dip and other things.

Editor:
I like your first line it really reels you in, while the content makes you want to breach the surface. In a nutshell your grammar is superb because there is not much to look at. Other than that its the best two sentences I have ever seen.

The rose is a symbol of love. This vivid breath-taking flower is used on many occasions especially for love. I think it is also the only flower that gets more expensive because of a holiday. This holiday of course is Valentine's Day. i have seen the price of a dozen roses at $5.99 a week before Valentine's Day. Three days before the holiday, they are $14.99 and a day before, they are $19.99. On the much anticipated day, they were $25.99! I couldn't believe my eyes. I was shocked to see the $20 dollar raise of the bouquet.

The words yellow, chocolate and flower or water brought up many things for me. I have written about all these words using the what they brought to my mind. When I finished and looked them over, I saw that they all had something in common; they were all associated with something I have experienced before in my life. The bright color of yellow, the versatility of chocolate and the rose of love all brought to my mind memories of past. Yellow brought to my mind my impatience with my ungrowing lemon tree, chocolate brought my experiences with chocolate cookbooks and the rose evoked memories of expensive holidays.

impatience, versatile, candy, love, breath-taking, memories

Candy can be an interesting treat. Giving candy can be a show of love or affection. It can bring back breath-taking memories of times that had candy in it.

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Exercises
Posted by M Huang at 2007/07/05 11:24:30 PDT
Me, Myself and I

1) The deep clear water is freeze-your-feet-off cold, yet still enjoyable because of its invigorating feel.

2) river, olive tree, eyes, skyscraper, candy, notebook, fire, snow, room, institution

love, dreams, inspirations, smell, pain, anger, jubilation, feel, wrath, pride.

The river of dreams. The snow of love. A destructive fire of wrath. The candy of jubilation. An institution of inspirations. A olive tree of emotions.

3) When I was about 7 years old, my dad and I planted a lemon tree in our backyard. It started out small and I never thought it would grow because of my impatience. After school, I would go to my backyard to check on it. Nothing I tried would make it grow. Water, fresh fertilizer, Miracle-Grow and upturning soil did absolutley nothing. As the years went on, I eventually gave up.
For 2 years, I ignored it and never noticed it's rapid growth. I would go to the backyard sometimes, but would competely ignore it. It wasn't until recently that i noticed that it grew extremely tall.

Chocolate is a very versitile substance. It can used in candy, cake, dip and other things.

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Descriptive Essay =]]
Posted by M Huang at 2007/06/28 10:44:56 PDT
Edited at 2007/07/05 09:36:42 PDT
laadeedaadeedaa

Burney Falls should definitely hold a place on your list "places to go"; Theodore Roosevelt once called it the "8th wonder of the world." It is a wonderful place to relax. You can easily unwind just sitting on the smooth, sun-warmed rocks watching the glistening water run down from the falls to the creek. The sun shines brightly on the water creating dazzling sparkles of light.

Burney Falls may not be the tallest or the largest waterfall in California, but it is the most beautiful. The mist that the falls create is amazing. The air is so thick with it that you get a feeling of walking through light, fluffy cloth. The sound of people shouting and kids splashing are barely audible with the roaring waterfall crashing down. The air on the way down to the foot of the falls is filled with crisp refreshing air. Once you get to the foot of the falls, your damp clothes cling to your body because of the mist. The smell lingers in the air and follows you around the falls.

The majestic waterfall is the focus of everyone's attention. Water pours off the cliff and flows over its tree-covered side into a pool of liquid beneath the falls. It is a lovely blue-green color. The deep, clear water is freeze-your-foot-off cold, yet still enjoyable because of its invigorating feel. Light blue groundwater runs off the cliff alongside the waterfall. They seem like miniature waterfalls. They spurt fresh spring water from the sides of the cliff adding water to the pool.

As you walk past the falls, you may not be able to see the waterfall, but the sound of its roaring water still fills the air. The water runs down to a long winding creek. The rippling water courses down the wide passage, seemingly endless, until you cannot see it anymore. The creek is completely surrounded on both banks by lush vegetation and wet rocks. The trees are never out of your view and loom over the creek. The trees are surprisingly soft and spongy from the moisture. Beside the trees are steep hills with moss covered rocks. The hills stand over the creek and their tops cannot be seen.

After your trip, you will always remember what you have seen. The sights, sounds, sensations, smells and tastes of the water, trees, creek, groundwater, waterfall, trail and hills can never be forgotten. The images are fresh in your mind and never fade away.

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