Writing for HS, AM (Scalice, '07)
Holly Qiu
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Exercises
Posted by hqiu at 2007/07/05 11:54:40 PDT
7/5/07

Exercise 1:
I smile with delighted pride.

-pride
-delight
-dignity
-joy
-pleasure
-happiness
-honor

Exercise 2:
avoid Similes
use metaphors:
list of metaphors:
tangible nouns:
air
tree
pool
water
ocean
beach
mountain
grass
sand
tulip
rose
wind
candy
hat
jacket
jewerly
hair
eyes
light
plane
gun
salt
pepper
cinnamon
ice cream
batter
blindes
fire
wood
------------------------------------

intangible nouns
truth
beauty
goodness
dreams
touch
thoughts
love
hate
anger
jealously
evilness
kindness
caring
feeling
sight
depressed
fear
wisdom
intelligence
--------------------------------------------------
Metaphors:

air of beauty
sight of anger
eyes of truth
smile of love/kindness
candy of pleasure
gun of evil
ocean of beauty
fire of jealously (consumed by, nothing left behind except the smoke)
cloud of dreams
diamond of dreams (refract of many diff. dreams)
sun of joy (spread lots of time)
labrynith (maze) of lies (trapped) (allieration)
"has"
"are"
PUT A BEING VERB BTWN. them

-----------------------------------------------------
YELLOW

yellow is bright and happy. It represents the sunny sun that shines so bright and light over the sky everday.
It is delightful. It is summer! Sun gives you a tan and sunburn. Yellow keeps you excited and willing to go to places. And yellow is my bestfriend. It makes me willing to smile and laugh. Places such as China. The yellow represents the skin of asian people. Since we have yellow skin. I think about memories and time I spend with my friends. I think about the beach with the sun hovering over the sand. Sand burning on my feet and the sand. I think about pretty clothes that are bright and shiny. At night, candle light shines brightly and there is laughter and joy spreading around. It makes people laugh and spread the pleasure of happiness.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

CHOCOLATE

chocolate is sweet and loving. It represents caring and kindness. It brings happiness and laughter to people.
It is sugar and brings vibrant energy to life. It accompanies people to joy.

You forgot to capitalize the "c" in la chocolat. You must capatalize because it starts at the beginning of the sentance. You use "it" a lot. Actually chocolate is supposed to make you sleepy but I guess in your opinion it beings vibrant energy to life. You don't have to tell me it's sugar because since it's sweet of course there is sugar. That was very josephy. I like the verbs. For the second sentence maybe you could say "It is an emblem of caring and kindness."

ummmm..urghh
wow. so it does make me happy.

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WATER

water is clear and blue. It is relaxing and soothing. Water swims through your body. It cleanses your soul. it is essential to life. Water is 90% of the earth. It reminds me of oceans with ulmitate ideas. And water is mysterious, where it is unlimited. It is continously moving and unstoppable. Water is a flow of elements.
And it is one of the elements with fire, wood, and wind. It symbolizes trust, love, and beauty. water is cold but has the warmth inside. water of life. Oceans refect the surface of the skies' colors with the blue and red.

Water is clear and blue. the yellows shines on top of the water in the ocean. I am sitting at the beachside, eating chocolate and reading a book. All three objects are somehow in motion. Water is flowing near the beachside. The yellow flowers are moving through the wind. And chocolate is moving in someones hand and being eaten. Cocoa beans grow in Hawaii and are pulled, moved, stored by people.

-laughter
-vibrant energy
-relaxing
-pleasure of happiness
- joy

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun of vibrant energy.
The bath relaxes your soul.
When I accomplish a goal, a rush of happiness hits me. And I can not stop smiling.

0 Comments
 
Exercises
Posted by hqiu at 2007/07/05 11:54:38 PDT
7/5/07

Exercise 1:
I smile with delighted pride.

-pride
-delight
-dignity
-joy
-pleasure
-happiness
-honor

Exercise 2:
avoid Similes
use metaphors:
list of metaphors:
tangible nouns:
air
tree
pool
water
ocean
beach
mountain
grass
sand
tulip
rose
wind
candy
hat
jacket
jewerly
hair
eyes
light
plane
gun
salt
pepper
cinnamon
ice cream
batter
blindes
fire
wood
------------------------------------

intangible nouns
truth
beauty
goodness
dreams
touch
thoughts
love
hate
anger
jealously
evilness
kindness
caring
feeling
sight
depressed
fear
wisdom
intelligence
--------------------------------------------------
Metaphors:

air of beauty
sight of anger
eyes of truth
smile of love/kindness
candy of pleasure
gun of evil
ocean of beauty
fire of jealously (consumed by, nothing left behind except the smoke)
cloud of dreams
diamond of dreams (refract of many diff. dreams)
sun of joy (spread lots of time)
labrynith (maze) of lies (trapped) (allieration)
"has"
"are"
PUT A BEING VERB BTWN. them

-----------------------------------------------------
YELLOW

yellow is bright and happy. It represents the sunny sun that shines so bright and light over the sky everday.
It is delightful. It is summer! Sun gives you a tan and sunburn. Yellow keeps you excited and willing to go to places. And yellow is my bestfriend. It makes me willing to smile and laugh. Places such as China. The yellow represents the skin of asian people. Since we have yellow skin. I think about memories and time I spend with my friends. I think about the beach with the sun hovering over the sand. Sand burning on my feet and the sand. I think about pretty clothes that are bright and shiny. At night, candle light shines brightly and there is laughter and joy spreading around. It makes people laugh and spread the pleasure of happiness.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

CHOCOLATE

chocolate is sweet and loving. It represents caring and kindness. It brings happiness and laughter to people.
It is sugar and brings vibrant energy to life. It accompanies people to joy.

You forgot to capitalize the "c" in la chocolat. You must capatalize because it starts at the beginning of the sentance. You use "it" a lot. Actually chocolate is supposed to make you sleepy but I guess in your opinion it beings vibrant energy to life. You don't have to tell me it's sugar because since it's sweet of course there is sugar. That was very josephy. I like the verbs. For the second sentence maybe you could say "It is an emblem of caring and kindness."

ummmm..urghh
wow. so it does make me happy.

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WATER

water is clear and blue. It is relaxing and soothing. Water swims through your body. It cleanses your soul. it is essential to life. Water is 90% of the earth. It reminds me of oceans with ulmitate ideas. And water is mysterious, where it is unlimited. It is continously moving and unstoppable. Water is a flow of elements.
And it is one of the elements with fire, wood, and wind. It symbolizes trust, love, and beauty. water is cold but has the warmth inside. water of life. Oceans refect the surface of the skies' colors with the blue and red.

Water is clear and blue. the yellows shines on top of the water in the ocean. I am sitting at the beachside, eating chocolate and reading a book. All three objects are somehow in motion. Water is flowing near the beachside. The yellow flowers are moving through the wind. And chocolate is moving in someones hand and being eaten. Cocoa beans grow in Hawaii and are pulled, moved, stored by people.

-laughter
-vibrant energy
-relaxing
-pleasure of happiness
- joy

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun of vibrant energy.
The bath relaxes your soul.
When I accomplish a goal, a rush of happiness hits me. And I can not stop smiling.

0 Comments
 
Descriptive Essay -_-
Posted by hqiu at 2007/06/28 19:18:06 PDT
Swim Meet XD

It was hot and humid as I trudge myself to the pool. I thought in my head: another five hours of waiting to swim and hanging out with friends between events. As I walk into the pool campus, my friends rush to meet me. They graciously tell me they are glad I am here. They drag me to read the events, different strokes and heats I will swim. I write the numbers down with a Sharpie marker. Our coach calls and informs us that practice has started. Warm-ups usually last 15 minutes. The warm-ups prepare you for the real competition, so you can warm up your muscles and swim your hardest. After practice, the whole team is gathered for a cheer. The coaches yell: “Fly, Back, Breast, Free! Every lane, every heat! Every practice, every meet! The Aquacats you just can’t beat!” Swimmers repeat enthusiastically. All the roaring and swimming burst into a roar of laughter and applause. Our team is pumped for the game. I see many swimmers with huge smiles on their faces. Then everyone is silent. The national anthem has started. Everyone turns and faces the flag. Once the song has ended, the meet has begun!

I push away my nervous thoughts and start to prepare for the game. As the swimmers of six and under age-groups start, parents scream at the top of their lungs, cheering and supporting their children. The age group continues to progress. As the announcer starts getting closer to my age group, I quickly sprint to my lane and wait for my turn. The anticipation is intense, as the two competing teams’ scores are close. Nervous thoughts return and I feel insecure, not wanting to swim. A thought whispers in my head, giving me confidence, and I know I can do it. As I step onto the block. I hear my friends, parents, and teammates cheering me on, yelling my name. I place my goggles tightly over my head. My coach, kneels, near the diving board, gives me a few quick words of advice: “Don’t forget tight and quick flip turns!” “Take a breath every three strokes!” Announcer yells: “Swimmer’s take your mark.” “GO!” I leap off the diving board, head first, and I feel the cool water oozing between my toes. Water roars in my ears. My mouth fills with the salty and bitter taste of chlorine. Water rushes down my arms and legs. Adrenaline simulates my muscles. My name is shouted: “Holly!” “Holly!” “Go!” As I dive down into the cool water, I can feel it flowing into my arms and legs. I can hear the water roaring as I swim. I swim my heart out. I feel my muscles aching, but I continue swimming. I touch the wall, I remember my coach telling me: “a tight, quick flip turn.” My legs push off the wall. I reach the wall to finish, panting I stand on the pool’s bottom. I stretch my neck to see the timers push the button and turn my head. I see my time. 36.4 seconds. I knew it I beat my time!

My friends and coach come to congratulate me. I smile with pride. My parents are as excited as I am. I wait for the next event: breaststroke. Breaststroke is my favorite style of swimming and I always love to swim it in every meet. So, I line up in the lane and am psyched to swim breaststroke. The thought of it makes me happy. I step onto the board and dive in after I hear the buzzer. I pull hard-glide and pull hard-glide. I reached the other side of the wall and do a quick turn, this time a two-touch hand turn and push off the wall. I continue to pull hard and glide, breathing every stroke. I quickly gather the last of my energy and sprint to the wall. I see my time: 47.8. I beat my time by a millisecond. I thought to myself: I wish I had gotten a better time. The event has passed and I know I have a long journey ahead of me. I start thinking of new ways I can improve each stroke.

0 Comments
 
Descriptive Essay >_<
Posted by hqiu at 2007/06/28 10:47:31 PDT
Edited at 2007/06/28 11:31:35 PDT
Swim Meet

Hot and humid as I trudge myself to the pool. Another five hours of waiting to swim and having fun with my friends. I walk to into the pool campus in the baking temperature. I rush to greet my friends. They are graciously tell me they are glad I am there. They drag me to read the events, different strokes and events I am in. I write the numbers down with the a Sharpie marker. Our coach calls us informing us that practice and warm-ups had strated. Warm-ups usually last about fifteen minutes. They prepare you for the real competitition, so you can swim your hardest and warm up your muscles. After practices, the whole team gathered for a cheer. All the roaring and laughing burst into a roar of laughter and applause. Our team is pumped for the game. I see many swimmers enthusiastic to swim.

I, soon, push away my nervous thoughts and start to prepare for the game. As the swimmers of six and under-age groups start, parents scream at the top of their lungs, cheering, and supporting their children. The age group continues to progress. As the announcer starts = getting closer to my age group, I quickly sprint to my lane and wait for my turn. The

2 Comments
 
Descriptive Essay >_<
Posted by hqiu at 2007/06/28 10:47:31 PDT
Swim Meet

Hot and humid as I trudge myself to the pool. Another five hours of waiting to swim and having fun with my friends. I walk to into the pool campus in the baking temperature. I rush to greet my friends. They are graciously tell me they are glad I am there. They drag me to read the events, different strokes and events I am in. I write the numbers down with the a Sharpie marker. Our coach calls us informing us that practice and warm-ups had strated. Warm-ups usually last about fifteen minutes. They prepare you for the real competitition, so you can swim your hardest and warm up your muscles. After practices, the whole team gathered for a cheer. All the roaring and laughing burst into a roar of laughter and applause. Our team is pumped for the game. I see many swimmers enthusiastic to swim.

I, soon, push away my nervous thoughts and start to prepare for the game. As the swimmers of six and under-age groups start, parents scream at the top of their lungs, cheering, and supporting their children. The age group continues to progress. As the announcer starts = getting closer to my age group, I quickly sprint to my lane and wait for my turn. The

0 Comments
 
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